I had a really fabulous afternoon and evening hanging out with myself today. After working this morning, I went to the grocery store to return a movie, and of course decided it was finally time to do some real food shopping, so I gave in and did it. And actually enjoyed it. For whatever reason, grocery shopping is one of my very least favorite chores, which is probably why I so rarely do it. But I think actually being in the city now makes everything more interesting (oh the people).
Then I came home and spent about six hours cleaning (which I immediately made dirty again) and decorating my apartment. I think I'm almost done in the living room and kitchen! I still need to buy a couple picture frames and then make the tapestry/curtains and those rooms will be all set. I watched an interesting movie, Blue Like Jazz, read my old Thailand journal & mass emails, and rocked out to music.
I haven't enjoyed being alone in what feels like a really long time. I've always experienced bouts of loneliness/aloneness, but I feel like I used to not just tolerate, but enjoy, being alone. I never really understood my friends who constantly needed to have plans and be around other people. But as things got rough the past few months, being alone felt lonely and gave me too much time to think. The depression made me isolate myself, which made me feel worse b/c I wanted to be around other people, but couldn't get myself to do it, which created this horrible cycle and made being alone feel pretty awful.
Today was the first time in such a long, long time that it felt good. I felt good being with myself.
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