Day Three Hundred & Four

Arts & crafts. So grateful I "have" the money to spend on supplies. Some nights I spend hours and hours working on a project because it's the only thing that calms my anxiety. I'm getting a little better at it too.

Day Three Hundred & Three

I'm pretty sure grabbing a meal with a friend is one of my favorite things to do in this world. Dinner tonight with L.C. was a wonderful end to my day and a fabulous way to spend a few hours.

Day Three Hundred & Two

I don't think many of us like when relationships are rocky or there's an issue in the air, but I can't handle it. I've learned to internally work through dealing with someone being upset with me or there being some kind of conflict, but what I can't handle is when things aren't being discussed. Let's at least talk through it. If we're still pissed, upset, in conflict after that conversation, ok. But let's at least have that conversation. Let's at least be honest and upfront and put our shit out there.

Thank god S.B. is the same way. I can trust that when something comes up between us, we'll talk about it. We'll put it out there. Getting coffee with her tonight, airing shit out and talking through it was so important to me (and her) and I'm so very grateful that she works the same way I do in this regard.

Day Three Hundred & One

I love when television series are online/netflix. I love being able to not only watch a show without commercials, but also not have to wait a week in-between episodes. My newest addiction is Prison Break and I am so sucked in!

Day Three Hundred!

I am SO grateful for D.A., his knowledge of Word Press & HTML, and his willingness/patience to teach me the basics. He saved me so much time and suffering by sharing some of what he knows with me. Managing our website at work is one of the biggest headaches of my job b/c I don't know how to do the stuff on the back-end. It's eaten up so much of time b/c it takes me too long to attempt to figure it out and then generally realize I have no idea what to do. The little I know now has allowed me to make most of the changes/updates I need to. Without D.A., I'd still be working on my first update!

Day Two Hundred & Ninety-Nine

I met up with N. and her kids today at McDonald's so that they could be entertained by the play place (which they were - for hours!). It was just so nice to be with her and be able to talk about all the things that of all the people in my life, only she understands.

It also didn't hurt when her three-year-old opened the Emergency Exit door and the alarm went off. The look on his face was priceless and he will never do that again!

Day Two Hundred & Ninety-Eight

I had a really fabulous afternoon and evening hanging out with myself today. After working this morning, I went to the grocery store to return a movie, and of course decided it was finally time to do some real food shopping, so I gave in and did it. And actually enjoyed it. For whatever reason, grocery shopping is one of my very least favorite chores, which is probably why I so rarely do it. But I think actually being in the city now makes everything more interesting (oh the people).

Then I came home and spent about six hours cleaning (which I immediately made dirty again) and decorating my apartment. I think I'm almost done in the living room and kitchen! I still need to buy a couple picture frames and then make the tapestry/curtains and those rooms will be all set. I watched an interesting movie, Blue Like Jazz, read my old Thailand journal & mass emails, and rocked out to music.

I haven't enjoyed being alone in what feels like a really long time. I've always experienced bouts of loneliness/aloneness, but I feel like I used to not just tolerate, but enjoy, being alone. I never really understood my friends who constantly needed to have plans and be around other people. But as things got rough the past few months, being alone felt lonely and gave me too much time to think. The depression made me isolate myself, which made me feel worse b/c I wanted to be around other people, but couldn't get myself to do it, which created this horrible cycle and made being alone feel pretty awful.

Today was the first time in such a long, long time that it felt good. I felt good being with myself.