What an interesting day. I'm not really feeling gratitude towards much right now.
But what I have to say I do feel grateful for is that ultimately I'm making it through. I thought I needed to be with someone to get through the day and I called a friend and she wasn't really all about getting together.
So I decided that I wouldn't see her, even though she said we could get together. I just didn't feel like she meant it and I felt like I couldn't handle being around someone who didn't truly, absolutely want to be near me.
But I made it through the evening. I went and got coffee by myself. Then I took a walk. Then I went home and cleaned and went to bed before I couldn't handle things.
So even though V. ended things today; even though every minute of every hour of today sucked; even though all I want to do is crawl into someone's arms, I've survived it all by myself.
I just pray that I can continue to survive this way.
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