Day Nintey-Nine

I had the privilege today to watch a therapist do a sand tray demonstration with one of my fellow classmates. My classmate was brave, honest, and authentic. The therapist was empathetic, engaging, and kind. It was amazing to watch the interaction and connection that can happen in a therapeutic relationship. I felt blessed to witness this.

And it reminded me how incredibly powerful my own therapeutic relationship with my clients can be. Yesterday I had a termination session with one of the families I've been working with for the past three months. I have spoken with this mother and 12 year old girl every single week day for the past 3 months. I have listened, supported, engaged, challenged, and believed in their strength, their ability to heal, and the love they have for one another. I have done the very best I could at this point in my professional journey. At the end of our session, after the daughter had left the room, the mother told me that I "saved her daughter's life and she would never forget it." When I turned what she said around and told her that she had done all the work, she started crying and said "she couldn't have done any of it without me and she would never forget what I did for them."

What a humbling, sweet, amazing moment. What a wonderful reminder of the beauty in the work I'm doing. How blessed I am.

Day Ninety-Eight

I've been taught a lot over the past 18 months since I moved to Denver and started grad school, but the majority of what I have learned has been taught to me outside of the classroom (or even internship). My friends have taught me what it means to be loved in spite of myself. There have been several nights when I've done or said really stupid things. Where the next day I wanted to run as far and as fast as possible from my shame, from knowing I've hurt someone else, from embarrassment, from imperfection, from humanness. I have wanted to run and not look back.

But my friends haven't let me.

They've forgiven me, embraced me, accepted my humanness. They've continued to love me as I relearn to love myself. I have always believed that our actions define us, but I am now learning that what we do after we have acted poorly also matters. Apologizing, accepting forgiveness, truly accepting forgiveness and letting it go, these are important, human lessons to learn. And I am so blessed to have people in my life who love me through the learning.

Day Nintey-Seven

From in-depth serious conversation while drunk at the bar (even on Halloween) to writing papers together for hours at Panera, from camping at Telluride or Rogue Camp to car trips and nights in the mountains, from hysterical laughter over our inability (or my inability) to dance to hysterical tears over relationships and the loss of friends, from hugs, to texts, phone calls, IMs, emails, and all forms of endless conversation, L.C. was my first friend in Denver and remains one of my best friends ever. I couldn't imagine my life without this kind-hearted, goofy, intelligent, sensitive, caring woman.

Day Ninety-Six

Day Ninety-Five

And not just their love for me. Watching how and how much my friends love each other reminds me that love will win. Love will help pull through the darkness time after time after time.

Day Ninety-Four

Having a co-intern who calls to check in on rough days, who has learned to read me so well, and who makes time to listen to me when I need to talk. Hers was an unexpected love and I'm so glad we're on this year's journey together.

Day Ninety-Three

So, I'm getting a little bored with posting every day. I'm still finding things I'm grateful for, but doing the actual posting feels a little repetitive. So I've decided that since February is the month of "love," all of my posts this month are going to have to do with love. Familial love, friendship love, romantic love, self-love, world love, etc.

First up: The love of a five year old boy, snuggled up in my lap to watch a movie, as he tells me "it's okay if you kiss me good night now b/c you're like family."